BLAZE

The Nature and Nurture of Power
What Grows Here?... Evil grows in the dark.

To avoid slander charges the names have been changed. I'm not doing anything about protecting the innocent because.. well... ain't nobody really innocent!

S'we're doin' this book. Big Bart decides to sign a contract with Large Press. "No no!" I cry, "let[s go with Wide Captions! A much more reasonable choice." Alas and alack Large Press gets the go-ahead and we venture off to the dark side.

All in all things seem to go smoothly other than the deadline which looms and hastens us unbeknownced to our nervous breakdown. Then the communication (actually the lack thereof) begins. "Send them a proof" says Bart. "Why not" quips I. "Then we are agreed" responds Big Bart. "Aye aye," states I and off goes the proof for the edification of the Large Press conglomerate.

Suddenly... (crash of thunder)...

The proof... RETURNS!

The changes are marked, the proofing begun,
The Large Press conglomerate have suddenly begun,
to edit and write, to markup and slight.

Now now, pooh pooh,
we shall inform you what to do!
Don't worry your empty little heads!
Aww @*#% them.

And so it started. A series of non-communications with hangups and swearing and lots of sullen staring. I have never been so pissed in my life and it was nothing more than a battle of egos, a war of insecurities, a massive exercise in how stupid people can be if they really, really try. Sure the baby's gone, but I sure did get rid of that ol' bathwater!

Who's book is this... whose style will reign supreme...who cares if I added in a few inconsistencies...I sure fixed those other ones...score one for the Large Press...oops looks like Hole's got in a low blow...REF! REF! Did ya see that! It's mine, no it's mine. Ya but we're better! No we're better! Poop! Poop back!

Proof goes out, proof comes back.
Proof goes out, proof comes back.
Files go out, [intercepted!] proof comes back... but really, we are done now.
Files go out, [intercepted!] proof comes back.
Now, really... do ya think I'm stupid enough to send it out again?

Cover...what cover... ooh we can fix it, we can fix... no let me. Who the hell said it was broken? Screw this, let's just print it upside down, then no one will notice anything else...

But wait folks... it's not over. Sam Kibbles, the puppet master himself, rises from the depths of the sub stage to take his rightful place right behind his puppets. "Say this!" he now whispers, "say that" he rejoins. "Tell them they're wrong," he mumbles, "maybe they won't notice..."

sigh

Like I said, I'm learning...do you really think the files are going out again?

sigh

I'm tell' ya folks this is insufferable. I mean really insufferable. Suffering all around! It ain't gettin' done and we are back to pre-contract footings. All I want is for an honest effort to get to the end but it seems we are just gong to play pissing contests. "Ooh, look at me I can PISS!" Me too, me too!" SNARK SNARK SNARK! My son did that his first day on the planet... I hadn't realized he was so mature...maybe I can make some money offa all this piss. If we gotta play games, why not make it worthwhile, pistols at dawn, double or nothing, give'r till ya puke. We were more mature with a 26 of lemon gin in our gullets.

Anyway I'm finished whining although the end of the tale is not yet written. I seems likely that this will continue evermore because Karma can't be avoid, pride cometh before the fall and TANSTAAFL. But I sure would be willing to pay for it if I could just avoid the aggravation...

Power...worth every penny, worth every drop...
Gotta keep on fightin' till that last,
satisfying,
plop

Aw crap.

B