BLAZE

I had the incredibly weird experience of giving away more than $130,000 today. Of course it wasn't my own money, but still! The atmosphere was freaky as we calmly and ordinarily told one another how various artists would achieve their goals. I'm thinking there's a big karmic cost for all of this.

The memorial was on Monday. It was heart-breakingly sad, for so many many reasons. We can only hope that all the rest around us stay strong and well. We must cling together, now and always.

No sleep. Average night: three hours. Too much bloody marking. Can't keep those kids satisfied. I'm ready to give up with my 200s. They're determined they won't learn the material. The book is complex, but not THAT complex. The lectures are MUCH simpler than the textbook. And still they complain. Oh well. Two sets of papers to return this weekend, plus marking for my 102s. Yikes. I'm really not grown up enough for this job some days, no matter how much I love it.

And I still do.

Haven't read a book in so long. Haven't seen a movie in ... months? -- since The Two Towers. Some Saturdays I watch hockey, on the telly or live -- always fun. *&%$#@ grammar! I'm so tired of writing correctly all the time. Didn't I used to be an interesting writer once? Can't even remember now.

And yes, I know I'm a failer (and a failure, incidentally) with my MEd. That's all we need to say about it. Say no more.

More snow. I want to plant galanthus and colchicum and eranthis and maybe some daffs. Also lots of pretty plants like violas and lilies of the valley. No more lawn in the front yard. And a big garden. Asparagus in the spring. Some potatoes because we like them new.

A blog for poetry, for the novel pounding its fists on my cerebral cortex, for something interesting to say. I guess I'll have to figure out what that might be.

Sorry to be so blah today. The sky reminds me of a wool work sock that went through the dryer. But Valerie sent some blueberries and Kate sent some cookies, so most things are still lovely. Just have to turn my head the right way to see them.

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