Tick tick tick tick

The time before we leave is growing short and my mind is scattered. Thus, today's blog is a collection of witty things I've found and liked. Perhaps Pinterest is the better medium for this kind of thing today, but whatever. Enjoy!

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Copyeditors do it with style.

Today's rain is tomorrow's whiskey. — Old Scottish saying. (In which case, Scotland must make an awful lot of whiskey!)

Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. — John Weitz.

His face took on the expression of an Englishman about to speak French. — P.G. Wodehouse

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. — Groucho Marx

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. — A. Whitney Brown

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. — English Professor